Actually had a good night sleep. Woke up around six and decided to get up as Mari and I decided to walk the lake twice around. We got once around and Mari was having sore legs. Got breakfast from Starbuck's and came home. It was nice not to have to make breakfast for Rory. Checked emails and then did laundry. I needed a nap, so I took one. After I took a nap, emptied the trash in the house, did vacuuming, watered the plants and checked our bank account. Filed some things that needed to be filed and then took some things over to the storage unit and ran some errands with Marissa. Marissa wants to get a bike, which is fine, but I hope we don't just buy it and she does nothing with it. Rory came home right before we left. Put his dirty clothes in the garage for washing and then gave him the suitcases to put away. If I didn't do it, I know they would sit in the living room for ever until he got around to doing it. Last night, I looked at a couple of credit cards that he does not want me to see and now I know why. When he goes to the casino, he is taking cash advances and not small ones. His dealing with finances drives me nuts and I don't know how long I can handle it. Now I get time for myself with the computer to edit pictures and to write. Someone posted "what do I want to accomplish over the next 90 days" and I really don't know. I take things one day at a time and I am content with that. Yes, I am working on my weight and yes, I am getting exercise. I have no goals for the next 90 days, I feel like I just exist. I am a "do" person and this bothers me, as having a goal, means I have something to do and I can check it off my list. Am I a failure, if I don't have something to do or accomplish a goal? No, but I feel like I am not worthy!
I ended up watching a program on the computer called "Extreme Makeover-Weight Loss" or something to that effect. The program made me cry and I don't feel like I push myself enough. I am good enough and I am loved and I really need to believe it. Now how can I believe this. What goals can I set for myself. Had dinner and did some writing. Going to do my reading early, so I can watch the beginning of the new episode of what I watched this afternoon. Better get to it.
Good Night, Trudi