Monday, July 2, 2012
Fear and trust-Day 12
This morning I did my stretching exercises and I have increased my laps to three. I was listening to "Living on the Edge" this morning and they were talking about stagnation. I realize I deal a lot with fear. I need to take steps of faith and I need to ask God where he wants me to take this step of faith. I have three things to do today, well now, four. One has been done and that is to get the oil changed in my car. I really don't like to sit someplace for an hour, so Rory came down to get me and we went to get a new phone, as the phone upstairs is not working correctly. After being with him in the car for about an hour I was getting very uptight. As we were pulling out of the driveway of Big O, he was on the left and there was a person on the right, where Rory should have been and he said, can't that person just wait for me. Rory was trying to be polite for me and be on the left side. Rory did get to go first. When we got to one signal, he was asking, why can't the signal turn as there is nobody coming the other way. He has no patience, everything has to be done now. When we got to the phone place, the guy showed us the phones and Rory was going on and on about how the other phone doesn't work and about not buying phones at Target. Then he was asking about how you can dial a number on the telephone and it can show on the computer. Both the sales guy and I were looking like "what"! Rory has rules for everything. He would not back out, if someone was waiting to take his spot. Then we went to Starbuck's and as he was going through the parking lot, he really wasn't watching for people walking. He always has to be first. By that point, I had about had it and this was only an hour. We headed back to Big O and I got my car and came home. I deal a lot with fear and lack of self-confidence. I have ideas of things I want to do and I have a problem moving forward. I need to figure out what I am supposed to move forward with first. In some ways, I feel like I am stagnant, as I can't move forward until Mari graduates from college. Maybe, I am in a holding pattern at the moment. What do I need to learn, while I am in this holding pattern. I know I need to trust in the Lord.