Saturday, September 29, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Good Morning! Thought about getting up at 5:45, when I woke up and had to go the bathroom, but then I said, the sun is not up yet, so why do I need to get up. Went back to sleep and slept until about 6:30. Got up and did my morning routine. On Sunday mornings, Rory watches a program called "Sunday Morning". They were talking to a young man who had served in Afghanistan and his buddies had been killed and he was standing over one of his buddies and got knocked in the head by one of the enemy. All of the soldier's anger at losing his buddies went into fighting the enemy and he killed the enemy and I was thinking about how I handle my anger at Rory. Don't worry I am not going to do anything. I get angry at how Rory does not take care of himself, at his lack of motivation and his irresponsibility and his real lack of care about us or his respect of us. My anger just gets pent up inside and there is nothing I can do about it. Every thing is all about him. Mari and I talked about this on our walk and I have to remember to take care of myself with my walks and doing things I enjoy, such as my photography. I need to take care of me. I have to remember that God takes care of me. This morning, I was reading something that a friend wrote about "There but for the Grace of God..." and she was talking about the homeless. My father-in-law was not a nice man, but because of him, we have money and I, at this point, in time do not have to have a paying job. Being a wife and mom is a full time job. I can remember several years ago, that we could have been homeless and I am very grateful that we are not. Part of our money issue comes from Rory's irresponsibility with money and always wanting the most expensive things, plus his gambling and his lack of patience and his lack of motivation. My emotions have been all over the place this morning, from good to bad. Mari and I did our walk this morning at the lake, along with other people, the dogs and the ducks and geese. Got oatmeal and coffee from Starbucks and came home. Doing morning routine. Tried to take a nap, but couldn't really. Mari and I are going to get out of the house this afternoon and take a drive and take some pictures.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Good Morning! The calendar says it is the first day of fall, but the temperature does not reflect that, but in Southern CA, it usually gets hotter, before it gets cooler. We have our Santa Ana winds usually at the end of October. I love fall and everything associated with fall. I love the color of the changing leaves and pumpkins and apples cooked into things. Today, I am going to make some pumpkin puree and some apple cookies from the apples we got last week. I am also going to help Mari make up a schedule for getting homework done, so that she is not spending all day Wednesday doing homework and wiping herself out. I also need to buy our new bed. A busy Saturday! Got up at my normal time and doing my usual morning routine. Mari and I are going to go walk the park this morning. Mari is making breakfast. We had a fun walk. One of the dogs that is sometimes at the park likes us to throw its frisbee, which I am not really good at. Doing my morning routine, took a nap and had lunch. We made a schedule for Mari and Marissa and I went out and ran errands. I always say it is very different to do things with Mari and Marissa. They may be twins, but they are so different. I decided to send my friend a care package, instead of waiting to see her. Hopefully that will cheer her up. We did some other things and ordered my bed. Mission Viejo Mall was a mess and I was glad to get out of there. On the way home went by Target. While we were at Mission Viejo mall, Marissa wanted to get some Thai tea, which we did, as well as some Chai tea. Came home and put things away. I was going to have a little bit of quiet time, before making some cookies and some pumpkin puree. Rory decided to come down, which I didn't really need, but I did not complain and eventually he went back upstairs. Mari came out and helped me with the cookies and the pumpkin puree, which I totally enjoyed. Got dinner together and we watched Celebrity Ghost Stories and The Unexplained. I feel like I actually have some energy today. Going to do my reading tonight and then go to bed. Good night, Trudi
Friday, September 21, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
Good Morning! Better night last night, than the night before. Woke up a little before 6 and then went back to sleep until 6:25. Got up and got morning routine done. Rory has this tendency to lay around all day and off and on sleep and then not be able to sleep at night and that is exactly what happened last night. I can't tell him that he needs to get up and be active. Mari was up before 8 and got some homework done and then we did our park walk with our walking friend. We saw three dachshunds today at the park, plus it was much cooler this morning. YEAH! Mari made apple pancakes this morning, using some of the apples we got the other day. Did emails and house stuff, took a nap, had lunch and then took Mari to school. On the way home, did an errand. Before we left, the mail came and we found out that Rory may not be able to get VA medical benefits any longer, due to the trust money we have. With all his medical issues, that is not good, as he does not have medical insurance through his job and will not get medical insurance through the new job. I am frustrated at this, as this will be more money out of our pocket. When I got home, he wanted me to handle this issue and I said no! I will fax the papers he needs faxed, but that is all I will do. He needs to handle this and figure out what the VA needs. He has talked to our attorney and our accountant. He decided to go to a movie and calm down. Now, Marissa and I have quiet around the house. YEA! This is a memorial that Pepperdine University did last year to 9/11. Today is also Constitution Day. Did you know that? I didn't, until someone's blog told me.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Good Morning! Thank you for all who read my blog! Not a real good night, as I could not remember if we closed the garage door last night and our coffee maker is not working correctly, so at 3:30 this morning, I came downstairs to check on the garage door and to play with the coffee maker until about 4. Then I could not get comfortable in bed and finally about 4:45, I guess I went to sleep, because a little after 6, Rory turned off the fan and turned on the coffee maker. Instead of arguing with him about turning off the fan, I just decided it was time to get up and do my morning routine. Mari and I walked the lake, which is 2.2 miles, then went to Starbucks and came home. Doing the rest of my morning routine. I have decided that instead of always arguing with Rory about practically everything, I am going to take care of myself and go on with life. Took a nap, finished house stuff, had lunch and then ran errands with Marissa, as Mari wanted to stay home and get school stuff done. Rory keeps trying to tell me about a boil he had and I told him I did not want to hear it, just like his sister did not want to hear about people being killed. Then he started talking about his family and all the lovey dovey, which I like. I was close to my parents and family to me is very important. Our two major differences is how we relate to family and how responsible are with money. At the beginning, I don't think I looked at that, as all I saw was a man that accepted me for me and that there were many similarities in our families. Being accepted was major important, as kids growing up had not accepted me for me and the men I had relationships with, prior to Rory had walls around them. I have always wanted to be close to a large family and been able to have holiday or family dinners with all of family. I guess I did not see at that point, how important that was to me. Got home from running errands and just having some quiet time. Nice! Soon, I need to start making dinner. Oak Glen:
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Good Morning! Doing my usual morning routine. Yesterday, Mari and I did not walk, as Mari and school all day and I was going with Rory to see his mom and sister for lunch. Rory has really not seen his mom and sister for about 40 years, except for some brief time. The lunch went ok and I am glad it is over. Rory said he would like to see his mom periodically. I got this feeling that lunch was more of a business meeting than a family get together. In many ways, he was being the drama king yesterday and he does not tell the truth on most things. His mother asked him,"if he has diabetes" and he said, "a little". Yea, right. He would not answer his sister's question about being in Vietnam. He led on that he had been, but he had not. He does not understand relationships and that is sad. The girls and I will continue to see them and I am happy for that. Family is very important to me. After we came home, I took a nap and then Marissa and I did errands. I felt like I could not really get anything done yesterday; but I did get things done. Had dinner last night and then about 8:30, went to pick up Mari. Came home and went to bed. Today, should be pretty normal and I am glad about that. Going to work on the Flickr project and some of the mini-challenges through I Love Photography in FB this weekend. It is supposed to be hot this weekend. As soon as Mari gets up, we are going walking and I am so ready for that and some normalcy. Mari and I were going to go to the Huntington Library tomorrow, but because of the heat, we decided not to. Mari and I did our walk and it is hot. At 9 a.m. it was already 84 degrees and it felt like we were having one of our Santa Ana's. Came home and Mari made breakfast. Doing my emails and house stuff. Marissa has decided she is going to a movie this afternoon. I am going to go run errands and possibly take some pictures. It is 103 degrees so far today. Mari is taking a nap. I am putting up a perfect picture for today:
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Good Morning or maybe I should say good afternoon! Mari and I decided we were going to walk to the park today, so we had to get an earlier start than our 8 a.m. start. It was very foggy/cloudy this morning and you could not see very far, plus my glasses kept getting fogged up, but we did our walk. When I weighed myself this morning, I was down 10 pounds exactly from what I was July 20. I am really happy, as the food and exercise plan I have set up for myself is working. I am happy this is working, but I really don't know what the difference from all the rest of the times I have tried to lose weight is. Came home, had breakfast and did my usual routine. I did take a nap, as all of the excitement from yesterday exhausted me. Rory is working today, so we had to help him with some stuff, but now I have the rest of the day to just relax. The house is getting cleaned today and Mari and I are going out and taking pictures for her class and a project I have.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Good Morning! Normal morning routine! Mari has school this afternoon and that is the only out thing we have. The rest of the day will be normal routine. Rory will probably be home resting after yesterday of going through the physical and tomorrow, where he possibly has to work. I am now meeting a friend for coffee/tea after I drop Mari off at school. Mari and I did our park walk this morning without our walking buddy. Tomorrow we are going to walk from home to the park, walk four times around the park and then walk home. I knew today was September 11 and I can't believe it has been 11 years since all of the tragedy happened. I remember waking up and Rory having the TV on and watching the planes crashing into the buildings. I thought Rory was watching a movie. I remember having 7 reviews that day to do and telling the girls they had to come with me, as I did not really feel comfortable leaving them at home, as I was homeschooling the girls at that point. I remember that night, when I was working about 11 p.m., hearing the low sound of a plane and wondering what it was. Mari was still up and we both figured out, it was a plane at Camp Pendleton, which we can sometimes here from where we live. Lots of memories from that day. Praying for all of those who lost loved ones.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Good Morning! Up at my usual time and doing my usual morning routine. Rory goes to have a physical today for his new job. Two things I have to do today and I was telling Rory, was that I have to pay the rest of the tuition for Mari's school and I am going to call the plumbing company we had come out last week to fix the stopper and paid $98, and to me, it holds for awhile; but eventually it drains out. Didn't stoppers used to hold forever? Have things gotten that cheap? We have had three people look at the same stopper and it does the same thing each time. I would like to get an insurance policy they have, where they come out and check the plumbing in the house and check the heating and air conditioning periodically. When I was telling Rory this, all he could focus on was that they did not fix the stopper. I have always been a scrooge when it came to money and I have always been very responsible. This is one major difference between the two of us. He always tells me he looks for the best deals, but then he gambles and is very irresponsible with money. When we were very strapped, he would still go gamble. I will spend money, but I am cheap in regards to certain things. I don't need to go to Macy's to get my clothes, I am happy with Old Navy or Kohl's or Target. Rory keeps making comments about all of us having $1500 Mac's. I don't like what he likes and he doesn't like what I like. In regards to change, let's see what changes this week. I really have nothing planned. Mari and I did our walk around the park and we are now home having breakfast and doing computer stuff. Something very interesting is happening, I am actually enjoying exercise; which is a first! Needed a nap and then had lunch and took Mari to school. Paid what was owed on her tuition and then went to Smart & Final. On the way home, it was getting very dark, up by us and Marissa texted me and said she was hearing thunder. When I got home, I heard it and Sweet Pea was not liking it. Got dinner together and then having quiet time. YEA for quiet time.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Good Morning! I actually slept in until 6:30, as Mari and I are not walking until later this afternoon. There is a book called "Secret Stairs of Los Angeles" and a meet up group with the same name and this is how we are going to get our walk today. I need to get Rory's breakfast and Mari is making our breakfast. Going to do my computer stuff and then I will make Rory's breakfast. I am at my lowest weight, since I started this weight loss journey or more like my being healthy journey. When I stay home and really stick to my food plan, the weight goes down, but I am learning, that even though I make wise choices, eating out does not help the weight loss. I do have to remember that I am lower than I was when I started this and I am thrilled. I know tonight we are having pizza and I am really going to make wise choices, but if I stay the same, I am not going to beat myself up, it will just be getting back on the horse again and moving forward. I have also been trying to think of how our marriage has changed and what needs to change, in order to get us back to where we were. Two things have to change and that is communication and respect. Since I have been on this healthy journey, Rory is not real supportive and I need that support. I am so thankful for one group, that has been supportive. I was reading Pastor Rick's devotional today and he talks about announcing goals and having faith that Jesus will fulfill those goals. My goals are: I want to be a healthy weight and have a healthy body, I want to be married to a man I really love and lastly, I want to be able to travel the United States and share what I experience through what I write and photograph. As far as my marriage, I would like to stay married to Rory, if he could be a different person than he is; but I really could not stay with him for the rest of my life, the way he is. Did my emails and house stuff. I got a gift card from Amazon for a photo challenge I did over the summer and I have decided I am going to get a Kindle. I am going to get rid of the books I have. There are certain "coffee table" books I want to keep. Had lunch and watched a program on TV, called "House Hunters International". These people moved to Brussels, Belgium. I think that is one place I would like to live and use that as a hub and be able to travel to other parts of Europe. I love traveling by train. Doing some computer stuff. At 2:30, we are going to leave for our walk. Breakfast Pancakes:
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Good Morning! I think I was laying on the bed for too long, as Rory came downstairs at 8 last night, so I went upstairs. I was very ready to get up about 6, except my knee was really bothering me. Did my shortened morning routine as Mari and I were walking the lake this morning. Got Rory his breakfast and then we took off for the lake. Walked our 2.2 miles and then got our oatmeal and coffee and headed home. Doing my emails and house stuff. Called a friend who is still in the hospital and she is getting really tired of being there. Another friend of mine had called me earlier, to see if I wanted to do something next month and asked me to call her back, which I did. She asked me, if I knew she had been at ER last weekend and I said, "No" Amongst some other things, she also has a problem with blood pressure. I have four friends who live here close to me and three of the four have health issues. I am thankful that I have been doing my walking lately, as well as eating healthy. I have seen the difference in my blood pressure and my blood sugar. After lunch, Mari and I went down to Laguna, to get some school supplies and some stuff from Whole Foods. Came home and having quiet time.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Good Morning! I am combining two days into one, as yesterday, Mari had school from 10-10, and Marissa and I went to San Diego on the train to see an old restored trolley car, that is actually used and then we went to the William Davis house, that Marissa wanted to see. We walked quite a bit around Downtown San Diego and then took the train home. We were both very tired by the time we got home, so I really did not feel like writing. Yesterday was the Farmer's Market, so on the way home from the train, we went by and picked up our box of produce. For me, this is always fun to get, in order to see the produce I can use for the rest of the week and it gives us some new things to try. Today is mainly a day at home. I was up at my usual time and doing my usual morning routine. Need to get Rory's breakfast and get Mari up at 8. On Friday's I really feel guilty about getting her up, but I know she can take a nap later. Mari and I did our walk, then, we came home and had breakfast. Doing emails and house stuff. Here is the park I walk:
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Good Morning! Today is my twin daughters 24th birthday. We are going to Chili's for lunch and also getting Casey's cupcakes. The girls already got their birthday present of pierced ears and Marissa got a bike. I have also accomplished another goal of getting below 235. Now my next goal will be to get below 230. In about 6 weeks, I have lost 9 pounds. YEA! My usual morning routine. Need to make Rory's breakfast and get Mari up at 8. Yes, we are still doing our walking. Mari is making pancakes this morning for breakfast. Did our walk, but made several stops, so it wasn't the best of exercise. The pancakes were great. Over the summer, I did a photo challenge and the prize was going to be drawn from all of the names who finished. I won! This made me very happy, as I have not been feeling the most up about my photography or me lately. I won a $100 gift card and it was very appropriate as the girls b-day is today. I said I was going to give $50 to each of my girls, when we were asked what I was going to do with the gift card. Mari wanted me to have some of the money, so I am getting $50 and the girls are getting $25. Better get my house stuff done, as we are going out to lunch. Had a nice lunch at Chili's and I ordered a light lunch and an iced tea. The girls got gift cards to Old Navy, so we walked over to Old Navy and they used them. From there we drove to Trader Joe's and then went to Casey's Cupcakes. Dessert for tonight. The girls are being well remembered and that is so nice. Came home and all three of us girls are doing our own thing. Rory went out somewhere!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Good Morning! I am not the most up person this morning, but I am thankful for a new day. Last night, I came to realize how Rory's upbringing and my upbringing have so influenced our lives. Rory has become like his dad, who was really not a very nice person. Rory does provide for us with his father's inheritance, but as far as loving us, really all he does is think of himself and what he wants. I was raised with very loving parents. We may not have had much money, but there was love, but I don't think feelings were really expressed. I am so thankful for my girls and the love we have between us. I really feel responsible to stay put until Mari is through school. It is going to be rough, but I feel that is the responsible thing to do. Going on with my day; I was up at 6ish and doing my morning routine. I am enjoying the quiet of the morning. I need to get Rory's breakfast, so I guess, I need to get going. Normal day today, as Mari has school this afternoon. I am going to continue to take care of the girls and myself and I will do what I need to for Rory. Mari and I did our walk this morning at the park. We did 8 laps around with our walking friend. Came home and had breakfast. Did my usual morning routine. As Mari had to be at school at 1, which means we have to leave at 12:15, so we had lunch at 11:30. Mari made a small sandwich for us and I added half a grapefruit to it. I don't think it was enough food, because I was hungry within half an hour. I dealt with the hunger until 3 p.m., when I made smoothies for Mari and me. I had gotten some cut up veges, when we were in San Diego, so I had some of those when we got back from doing errands. With my smoothie, I had a small piece of pita bread with some hummus on it. I had gotten this from the farmer's market last Thursday. Left to go pick up Mari. While I was driving, I was thinking about my self confidence and how I really feel about myself. We are having a chicken pot pie tonight and I want Mari to make it, because making it is something new to me and I don't want to fail. My self-confidence is low on many things. An issue I am also dealing with is feelings and taking a picture that expresses feelings. That is hard for me to do. I have decided to do something for myself and that is take pictures of old, hurt, frustrated and anger, which is something I feel about myself and then I will take pictures of beauty. I will share them on my blog. There is a trailer that is near us, that I have been wanting to take a picture of, but I don't take the time to stop and take the picture. I am going to do that in the next couple of days. The picture I am going to put up today is one I took the other day and this picture is of beauty. I love clouds, especially at sunrise and sunset. Beauty:
Monday, September 3, 2012
Good Morning! 24 years ago on this day, my twin daughters were born. They are such an important part of my life and I am so blessed to have them. My girls turn 24 on September 5. Got up and did my morning routine. Mari and I went out to the lake and walked 2.2 miles, then to Starbucks and got our oatmeal. Lots of people and dogs at the lake. The whole thing yesterday with the picture and it being a challenge, made me realize that I do not challenge myself. When I see that in this challenge, the word is yellow, I only think about taking pictures of yellow and not how I can grow in taking pictures of yellow. When I look at my day, I look at how much can I get done in a day, not the quality of the things I do. Recently, I took a test for ADHD and I realized that I have a mild case of it. When I was an appraiser, it was always called, how many reports can I get done and I really didn't look at the quality. Everything from the lender was a rush and I really don't believe they looked at the quality. When we go to museums or places, I will look at the picture, but I don't really stop and read the description. Sometimes when I am reading, my mind is off somewhere else and all I am doing is reading words. Doing my emails and house stuff. Tried to challenge myself to not take a nap, as I wonder if my nap is only to quiet my mind. Tried to slow down this morning and not race through doing things. Had lunch and watched TV with the girls. My lunch today was a salad with a grapefruit. Healthy! Doing some computer stuff and working on the yellow challenge. This is one of the pictures I took for yellow:
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Good Morning! My usual morning routine and it has become wonderfully cool in the morning and I am so enjoying it. Better get moving, as I need to make Rory breakfast and Mari up at 8, so we can go walking. Going to Laguna today to get some supplies for Mari. Mari and I did our walk this morning. Lots of interruptions and a nice compliment from someone who remembered us from a couple of weeks ago. Came home and Mari made carrot cake pancakes. Yummy! Did my usual morning routine. Took my nap. Had lunch and then headed down to Laguna to get some supplies for Mari. Traffic was packed. Last weekend of summer, warm day and the beach, what do I expect. Rory went to the store and came home with things he wanted. The girls birthday is this week and we were going to go out and get cupcakes, so he brings home cupcakes from the store, which, to me are not as good as Casey's. He likes the store bought better, so I told him he could keep them upstairs. I really tried not to get angry. He has no willpower when he goes to the store. Having quiet time until dinner time. Clouds from this morning: