Thursday, September 20, 2012

Coming to grips

Good Morning! Bear with me, as I am trying to put this into words and get my emotions clear about what is going on. When I first met Rory, he would work on his weight and he exercised. In that way, he was better than me, as I had always struggled with my weight and I did not enjoy exercise or really being active. Now he has turned into a man who weighs close to 400 pounds and does no exercise and likes to eat what he wants and really does not want to be healthy. We bought a new mattress about 18 months ago for $3000 and he wanted a hard one, so that is what we got. Now, because he has to lay around to rest from doing very little when he goes out, he can't handle the hard mattress. We went to the sleep number store and found a bed that I think he is going to be able to deal with. The top of the bed will adjust and not just lay flat and each side of the bed will adjust to our comfort level. This bed is $6000. I have to get past my anger and frustration and just deal with what is going on, as he does not want to do anything to help himself. There are so many things he does that are a joke. He does not want to work, but he plays the game with unemployment. His doctors want him to lose weight and he goes to the classes, but does nothing. I have to focus on me. I can't be angry. I guess I can be frustrated. We have no choice, but to get the new bed. Normal morning routine, but no walking, as Mari has to be at school at 10. After I dropped her off, I went to Dana Point to go walking and then came home. Rory decided to get away, as things were beginning to build up, so it was nice to come home to just Marissa and I being in the house. We had lunch and watched TV. I made the decision to get a plumbing company to come out and inspect the plumbing and a/c, so we don't have too many problems in the future and they were out this afternoon. Since Mari has school on Thursday from 10-10, I try and take her dinner and snack in between her two classes. It also gives me a chance to see her. Picked up hamburgers from In N'Out on the way for all three girls of us. Met up with Mari and then went to Trader Joe's, then to the Farmer's Market and then to the bank. It was fun going to the Farmer's Market. Met up with my neighbor at the Farmer's Market. Came home and put everything away. I love trying new things and I know it is better for me. Need to get dinner. Marissa and I had dinner and watched TV. I had bought some Blondie mix at Trader Joe's and Marissa made them. So I had a blondie with some fruit and some elderberry balsamic vinegar. YUM! Doing computer stuff. Talked to a friend who is dealing with cancer tonight. We used to be really good friends; but now I think we have gone in separate directions. It is very hard to call her, as I really feel I have nothing to talk to her about. Somewhere along here, I have to go pick up Mari, so I will say good night. Trudi

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