I had to let go of what is going to happen to Rory and I have to let Marissa make her own decisions. They are both adults. I have to focus on me. Got up at 6 and doing my morning routine. Today, Mari and I are walking up to the park, hopefully no bee stings today. The plumber is coming this morning to take care of the water heater, my house gets cleaned today and Rory goes to work today. Mari and I are going to go out and take pictures today for her class.
Mari and I did our walk and nothing happened, except seeing a huge spider. Came home and had breakfast and doing house stuff. The plumber came and that was accomplished. I am starting to feel tired, but I am going to try to wait until Rory leaves for work and take a nap. Did get a nap and had lunch. The girls are right before that time of the month and they are being on the testy side and I am feeling on the antsy side. I thought we had planned to go out and take pictures and most of what we are doing is being around the house, which is better, because Rory is not home. I know this is good for Mari, as she is getting school done and it turns out Marissa is going out with a friend. I guess I am being a little testy as well!
The cleaning people got here and Mari and I took off. I went back to see if we could find the large spider again, but it was gone. :-(. Then we went to the bank and the gas station. A friend called while we were out. I had sent her a present and she loved it. I have two people in my life, who have a hard time with cell phones and hearing them in the car. It is hard for me to talk at home and I would rather be talking in the car. I hate to say it, but these are two people, who I don't want to talk to alot anyway. Sorry! After we went to the gas station, we went to Mission Viejo mall and I talked to the Sleep Number store about getting the sheets and mattress cover for our new bed. The bed is supposed to be delivered on Saturday, but we will see. Then we went to the Apple Store and then went looking at puppies and calendars. It's fun to go to the pet store and look at puppies. Went by Trader Joe's and came home. We were going to have Chili, but we changed it to spaghetti. Just enjoying spending time with Mari, as Marissa is out with her friend.
Tonight, I am going through my list of things I do and I was reading my last email that I had saved. There are some emails I save, because I want to go back and read them and do some writing on them. This email was a blog that someone had written on accountability. I really don't have someone to keep me accountable and push me forward, because I am afraid of not being accepted. Mari and I are doing a walk on Sunday and I am afraid of not being able to keep up and being made fun of, but I am going to do the walk, even though I really don't want to. Plus it will be dark, by the end of the walk and I guess I am afraid of falling or there will be some wild animal out there. We will have flash lights. My growing up years, I was made fun of and this has affected me in my life. I keep telling myself, I need to step out of the box and get out of my comfort zone. I start to, but I don't keep going. Traveling, taking pictures and writing would be something I would love to do and make money at it. Right now, I feel stuck, as I have one daughter in school and I want her to finish school; I have one daughter, who, I have no idea of what she is doing and my husband, I sometimes wonder how long he will last or will he become disabled and I will have to take care of him and I don't really want to do that. In many ways, he lives in lala land and thinks he will just end up in the hospital. He has no concept of money. I really need someone to keep me accountable and push me to move forward, as right now, I have the time to learn how to move forward. Mari and I are going to do two 3-4 mile walks this weekend.
Mari and I are going to watch Ghost Hunters at 9 and then I will go to bed at 10. I will say good night! Trudi