Emotions

Good Morning! Thought about getting up at 5:45, when I woke up and had to go the bathroom, but then I said, the sun is not up yet, so why do I need to get up. Went back to sleep and slept until about 6:30. Got up and did my morning routine. On Sunday mornings, Rory watches a program called "Sunday Morning". They were talking to a young man who had served in Afghanistan and his buddies had been killed and he was standing over one of his buddies and got knocked in the head by one of the enemy. All of the soldier's anger at losing his buddies went into fighting the enemy and he killed the enemy and I was thinking about how I handle my anger at Rory. Don't worry I am not going to do anything. I get angry at how Rory does not take care of himself, at his lack of motivation and his irresponsibility and his real lack of care about us or his respect of us. My anger just gets pent up inside and there is nothing I can do about it. Every thing is all about him. Mari and I talked about this on our walk and I have to remember to take care of myself with my walks and doing things I enjoy, such as my photography. I need to take care of me. I have to remember that God takes care of me. This morning, I was reading something that a friend wrote about "There but for the Grace of God..." and she was talking about the homeless. My father-in-law was not a nice man, but because of him, we have money and I, at this point, in time do not have to have a paying job. Being a wife and mom is a full time job. I can remember several years ago, that we could have been homeless and I am very grateful that we are not. Part of our money issue comes from Rory's irresponsibility with money and always wanting the most expensive things, plus his gambling and his lack of patience and his lack of motivation. My emotions have been all over the place this morning, from good to bad. Mari and I did our walk this morning at the lake, along with other people, the dogs and the ducks and geese. Got oatmeal and coffee from Starbucks and came home. Doing morning routine. Tried to take a nap, but couldn't really. Mari and I are going to get out of the house this afternoon and take a drive and take some pictures.

Had a salad for lunch and then hit the road for San Diego. Luckily, the traffic going south was not bad. Mari took some of her school work with us, but she kept falling asleep. I have a book of San Diego road trips and this was the first one. I have driven alot of this area, but have never seen some of the areas we went into. It was a nice afternoon out. Rory wanted dinner from Panda Express and so we stopped there and got him dinner on the way home. We got home about 7:30 p.m. and I made dinner, watched some TV and now I am just relaxing. Going to do my reading at 9 and go to bed. Good night, Trudi