Thursday, August 2, 2012

Out of my comfort zone

Got up around 6:15 and did my morning routine. I am loving this routine. Mari and I did our walk about 8. I had a doctor's appointment at 10:40 and needed to leave around 10. Mari was going with me. We left at 10 and got to the doctor's office to find out she was 30 minutes behind. I did not want to stay just for a blood pressure check and a quick visit with the doctor. Had my blood pressure checked and was very happy with it. When Mari and I came back from walking, Marissa was downstairs. She was talking about some dreams she has been having about losing things. I know these dreams, as I have had them before. I asked her when she was ready to move forward and maybe it was time to go back to the psychologist, if she was really ready to move forward. It is hard to move out a place you are "comfortable" with, because there is that fear of failure and the unknown. I really feel that is why I have stayed with Rory all these years. Mari and I had a conversation about this on the way to the doctor's. After the doctor's appointment, we went to Costco, to see if I could find some sunglasses that I like and have been trying to find all over the place. They did not have them either. From there we went to Trader Joe's. Over the last two days, I have been getting things done that I have been putting off, which has been nice. I get into a rut with my errands. Came home and found out that the mantle was not going to be installed today. A friend of mine texted me and wanted to know if I wanted to come over for a glass of wine this afternoon. It would have been nice, but I really just felt like staying at home. Rory's car is still in the shop and he had to return his rental car this morning. He is getting antsy and driving us all nuts, because he has no car and he wants to do things and doesn't want to stay in our bedroom and watch TV. When we got home, Marissa was upset, because her dad was downstairs and constantly talking and doing stupid things with the cat, like putting a pillow over her. He really doesn't know how to interact with people or animals. Ate my lunch and then took a nap. After I got up, I was looking forward to just having some quiet time in the living room. Rory decided he was going to come down and was non-stop talking. I almost turned around and told my friend I would come over for that glass of wine, but I didn't. Rory went back upstairs. I enjoy my plants on our patio and he was asking if I really enjoyed the plants and I said "yes". He told me I didn't when we lived in Los Angeles. I told him I did not have time for them, then, but I know we did have plants and a yard at that time, but I also had a full time job and twins and him and pets. He does understand people, which is sad. Now that the court case is done, now he wants to find something else to do that will make us some money and of course, he wants to talk about it and get me to do it for him, which I will not do. Enjoying the quiet time in the living room, doing my own thing. Almost time for dinner. Mari made our dinner and I made Rory's dinner. He does not like fish, so he got a TV dinner. Watched TV while we ate dinner, which is typical. Valerie called while we watching TV. She has been through two of her radiation treatments. Rory wants to come down at 9 and watch a movie, which is fine. I really don't know how to handle the four of us living in this house, without Rory having to hang out in our bedroom, especially if he wants to watch TV all the time.

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