How to let go of the anger?

Good Morning and it is a beautiful morning!

Mari and friend on a tour we took in October, 2012.

Lately I have been getting really tired about 9 p.m. and having problems doing my reading and staying awake.  Sometimes Rory will come down about 10.  Last night, I decided to fall asleep in the chair about 9:45 and I slept for about 30 minutes.  I went upstairs to go to bed and Rory started in on his thing about me not making time to talk to him, plus he did not like dinner, as the chicken did not have the skin on and it was not fried and he was not feeling well.  In the past I have made time to talk to him, as I have come upstairs 30 minutes earlier and we don't spend the time talking, in fact, it is more he talking to me.  I pan fry chicken and I have never used chicken with the skin on.  After things like this happen, I have a hard time going to sleep.  The next day, to him, it was not that big a deal and I am still holding on to it.  He told me today, he is just going to lay around in bed.  I do not trust what he says any more.  Yesterday morning, he told me, he was not going to this thing in LA and the next thing I know, he calls me and tells me he is going.  What he went to was some old movie actresses that were signing autographs for charity.  He made comments about their looks last night as well.  Most of us do not improve with age.  Thank you for letting me unload.

Today, Mari and I are going to church and I am not sure what the rest of the day is going to be.  I know the Super Bowl is on and because I live on the West Coast, I will be rooting for San Francisco, but I really don't care and I will probably not have the TV on, at least for the game and half time.

Mari and I left for church about 10:45 and sat in our new favorite place-The Terrace Cafe.  Two things I got out of the message was that I need to let go of things in the past and a question for myself-Am I going to church because I want to or am I going because I have to?  A couple of years ago, I got burnt out of church as I was going to Celebrate Recovery and I was there, Monday, Wednesday and Friday and then on Saturday or Sunday.  I really felt like I wanted to go back this year and I am glad I have.  Came home, took a nap and Marissa and I went to Trader Joe's to get some things for dinner for tonight and tomorrow.  Now I am going to spend some time on docent training and then make dinner.

These were clouds that Mari and I saw, when we were walking from the car to church.  Mari said, they reminded her of sea horses or musical notes and Marissa said they were ducks.  I agree with all.  What do you see?

Dinner set well with everyone.  YEA!  The girls and I watched "Kitchen Nightmare" while we ate dinner.  Rory came downstairs after the Super Bowl.  I did watch the last 11 seconds, when I found out what the score was.  Rory talked about his neuropathy.  I really wonder if he will really work toward getting better or, eventually, will I be dealing with someone not able to get around and no money.  What if I want to be near Mari?  How do you walk away from someone who really can't take care of themselves?  Tonight, I got to come upstairs and have time for myself.  Going to finish my computer stuff, read and go to bed.  Rory has a nutritional class tomorrow.

Good night.  Trudi

Dog training at the lake!  Not my dog!