Thursday, November 15, 2012
How to deal with loss
Good Morning! Last night, after I had said good night, my friend's sister called me to tell me that my friend, Valerie, was not going to be with us much longer. I had know this for a while. To me, Valerie's and my friendship had ended about a couple of years ago, but when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, I continued to keep in touch with her and we saw each other from time to time. As far as going out to say good by, I did that a couple of years ago. Can people accept that we all have differing ways of saying good by or ending a relationship. I feel that way with my husband. I live with him yes, but I question whether I was really ever in love with him. I would really like to walk away from this relationship, but for the moment I can't. I feel like I put on a face and be the person the other person wants me to be. Who am I? Can I really have a relationship with someone? I miss my dad tremendously, but I have dealt with the fact that he is gone. Today, I feel somewhat down, like ok, it is just another day. I guess there are routine days and there are days I can get excited about. Today, Mari has class from 10-10. I am going to Dana Point Harbor and walk. Farmer's Market is today and tonight I am going to a champagne tasting with a friend. I like to go to Dana Point and walk. Am I really looking forward to champagne tasting or am I doing this because someone else wants to? Better go get breakfast together.