Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Letting go

Good Morning! It is overcast in Southern California! I am a little behind my normal schedule this morning, but that is ok, as Mari does not have school today and Rory got home at 4 a.m. this morning. Rory worked until 3 a.m. and I did know he was working until 2. Luckily I slept through the night well. Every time I would start to worry, I would let it go. I feel tremendously better today as it does help to get rest and not get angry. Mari has a dental appointment this morning and we get our house cleaned today. Marissa is allowing fear to stop her life and we somehow have to work her past it. I need to let go of the stress I have with Rory. It is very difficult to live with someone who does not really know how to have a relationship. I am doing things I enjoy and I really do need the alone quiet time and I don't have to do everything. Better go make breakfast. Got my morning computer routine done. Took Mari to the dentist and got gas in the car. I very rarely get faxes, but this morning we got one from a person who lives behind one of the homes my father-in-law owned and now my step mother-in-law owns and does not really maintain. The letter told us that on Thanksgiving, someone was cutting the tree that is on "our" property and was done in a very unsafe manner. The letter stated that the tree should be cut professionally. We do not own the property. Rory called our attorney and the realtor that we used when we sold some of the other houses that we acquired. This is typical of my step mother-in-law and also my father-in-law to maintain things cheaply and want top dollar. I thought the dentist appointment was going to take an hour and it only took 20-30 minutes. Every time I have wanted today to lay down and rest, I have not been able to. Luckily, I am feeling better. Went to pick up Mari and then we went to Laguna to the art supply store. I love going to Laguna, as it has a very small town feel and that is what I like. I would love to live where I could walk to places or use public transportation. I love to be able to go into a place and have them know me. It is nice to use small businesses. From there we went to a sandwich place. The three of us got Thai Iced Teas and Mari had accidentally spilled some of her tea on me and was wiping it off me. I came to realize that I am not a touchy type person, I did not mind her wiping the tea off, but it made me realize that I don't touch and I don't get touched. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to be someone I am not. I like friendships, yes! I have had to learn to give hugs. Maybe this is why I married someone with AS and who doesn't really know how to have to have a relationship, as I don't think I really knew how. Came home and had lunch and doing stuff until the cleaners got here. I know I have house stuff to do, so will wait until the cleaners leave to get it done. Marissa and I went over to the vet to get some syringes for Sweet Pea. Now I am going to take a nap. I am trying to get on myself about not doing things and just taking care of me. Let it go, don't get so stressed. Tonight for dinner we had turkey chili and naan. Yummy! Gave Rory garlic bread! the girls and I are watching reruns of "Ghost Hunters". Going to color Mari's hair tonight. Talked to a friend and now watching a new episode of Ghost Hunters. It is so nice to feel better, even though I am getting tired. To bed I will go after the program is over. I am waiting for the rain, just like the kids wait for Santa Claus. Good Night. Trudi

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