Saturday, December 15, 2012


Good Morning! After the shooting yesterday in Connecticut, many things have come to my mind. I am so thankful for my daughters and that they are still alive. I cannot imagine what the parents who lost their little ones are going through today. Some of the news reports have said that the young man who did the shooting dealt with Asperger Syndrome, which is something I am very familiar with, as Marissa and Rory both deal with it. Last night, Mari found out that she has two A's and both Mari and I were really excited. Marissa felt very left out. She has problems with school, as she has a learning disability. Rory does not want to see the emotion of people on TV. Marissa has a hard time seeing anyone be emotional. I have a hard time being emotional, as I have a hard time being accepted. I know it is ok to show emotion. I love Christmas with the lights and the decorations. Christmas is hard around this house for me, as I miss my dad very much, as he really made Christmas for me. Rory deals with real life on TV. I know I cannot separate what I had with my dad from what I have now. I need to make Christmas enjoyable for all of us. Rory really does not understand love or how to show love or emotion. I really do feel like his caregiver or servant, but I don't feel loved. My question is why did this man have to kill all these innocent people. My emotions have been on my sleeve all day today. Today we are going to put up our Christmas tree. I am doing my morning computer routine.
I sort of needed a nap. Decided to lay down and read and sleep for maybe 15 minutes. It helps. Now I need to get lunch. I decided to edit pictures while I eat lunch, instead of watching TV.
I guess I had better get back to doing things. I am also feeling very frustrated. Rory went to get his lunch, which was fine, but he also went to the store, which is dangerous. He likes garlic bread and yes, we were out of it. He got this, which was fine, but he also got two things of whipped cream, when we already had one almost full one. He doesn't think about looking in the refrigerator first. He did not get the light whipped cream, so now we have three in the refrigerator. Oh well, I don't use it. The other thing he got was peach pie for him. I know these are things HE wants and that I would not buy, as we really don't need them. To me, this was a waste of money, but he doesn't really care. OK, let me let it go and move on. I guess I have a control issue. I wanted to go out and get the tree right after lunch and Mari wasn't ready. We finally left at 3. The tree is up and decorated and it is not even dinner time. The house is decorated and the majority of packages are bought. I got some other things done as well, so what am I complaining about. Mari and I went to the storage unit, got the tree and decorations, then to Target and then to Starbucks. Now I have a little more time before dinner to get some things done. Made Chili for dinner and I am working a scrapbook. The girls were having a great time looking at some old pictures of them. We were also looking at pictures of Rory and seeing a different picture of who we live with. Mari and I did watch TV and now back to doing our own thing. Going to read at 9 and turn off light around 10. Good Night! Trudi

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