What do I want and am I willing to work for it?

Good Morning!  This is going home day and I am not the most up person in the world.  I have had my shower and dressed and waiting for the girls to be ready to go to breakfast.

Some thoughts have been going on in my head, since someone I know posted a question the other day on motivation.  In many ways, I just survive from day to day.  What do I want, overall I am not sure.  I say I want to lose weight, but am I really willing to work for it.  I like variety and I feel like I bounce around from here to there and never really go deep into any one thing for any length of time.  I am the caretaker at home and that seems to be my main job.  I don't mind being my daughters mother, but I do want them to have a life of their own.  I am my husband's caretaker and servant and that is not what I want to be.

 Again I go back to what do I want?  In my dreams, I would love to travel and explore the United States and possibly Western Europe and Australia and New Zealand and take pictures and blog.  I would love to be a tour guide through my blogs and somehow make money doing it.  I am looking into learning how to do videos and possibly putting them on YouTube.  I do want to be healthy, but food is love for me.  My father was an awesome cook and also my best friend.  My husband does not like to eat healthy and it is always a chore to cook for all of us.  The girls like my cooking.  I have always struggled with negativity of myself, so working on myself is difficult.  I do enjoy getting out and walking, but motivation sometimes gets the best of me.   Where do I start and how do I stay on track?

I need to conquer the fear and the self confidence.

The girls and I left Cambria about 10 and headed for Santa Barbara to drop off the car and be on the train by 2.  We made one stop in Arroyo Grande for coffee and lunch and made it to Santa Barbara by 1.  I finally heard from Rory and he is fine, just banged up from being on a toboggan.  We are now on the train heading home.  Rory is not coming home until tomorrow, which is good, as it will give me time to set up a routine.

Mission Basilica San Juan Capistrano-altar

We were on the train for 4 hours and got home a little after 6.  We went by El Pollo Loco and got some dinner and then came home.  Sweet Pea was very glad to see us.  Now we are all doing our own things and getting unpacked.

Going to do some scheduling for the week and some reading and then go to bed.

Good night.  Trudi

My picture of the day: