Tuesday, January 1, 2013

In the beginning

Good Morning/Afternoon! I am getting a late start, but that is ok, as I have one more day of stay cation, before Rory comes home. The picture is part of my 365 photo challenge and this is the view from my bedroom window. There is no storm coming, but we still have clouds and it has been cold for Southern California. We watched the Rose Parade and had pancakes. My goals for this year is to keep up with my blog, do a 365 day photo challenge, continue to lose weight and keep up with my exercise and continue to work on my travel blog-gypsymomvirtualconcierge.blogspot.com. I want to keep it simple and relax and enjoy the ride. I, also, have to remember that all things are "only for awhile". There is something that I am starting in a few days and that is training to become a docent at San Juan Capistrano Mission. My major goal for today is to get the outside Christmas decorations taken down. Other than that we will see where the day goes. Going to get lunch and continue with my morning computer routine.
This picture was taken on January 1, 2011. Did some reading and took a nap and then did some more reading. If I am going to get in the habit of walking again, I had better get to it. I need to not feel guilty because I don't get something done. I really do want to get the outside Christmas decorations down today, but it won't be earth shattering if I don't do it today. Relax and enjoy the journey. So we are heading out to Trader Joe's and then walk RSM lake.
Trader Joe's was closed, we got our walk done and the picture was taken during our walk. Went to Starbuck's and got something warm to drink and then to the store and came home through the canyon. Will have to take some pictures this year of the canyon. Came home and got the Christmas lights down. Accomplishing little by little. Baby steps. I need to unload something, that I really can't unload on my daughters or friends as they hear my complaining all the time. It has to do with my husband. I am dreading having him come home, as then it will be back to normal and I will be the odd person out in the house. We have three bedrooms-one is Mari's, one is Marissa's and one belongs to Rory and I, but it really belongs to Rory. I just sleep in that room, except for when he is gone. There has been much talk lately, in things I have been reading, about getting rid of relationships that are draining. My marriage is one of those and at this point, I don't know if I call it a marriage, as I am really his caretaker. I know I have to be patient, as I want Mari to get through school first, before I leave the marriage. I know I need to let Mari have her own life, but I really don't want to be too far away from her. She is what keeps me sane. I love Marissa immensely, but I can have deeper communication with Mari, than I can with Marissa. Mari has always said she wants me nearby and we both know that Marissa will be with the two of us. I just dread going back to Rory being here and not having the peacefulness that we have had this past week. For those of you that read this, please give me grace, when I need to unload. That needs to be a goal for me for this year, is to focus on myself and not Rory. That is hard for me, as I have not always felt important. So here goes. Better go get dinner.
Made dinner and the girls and I watched TV. Then we decided to have a girls conversation. Mari is moving forward with her life through school. I am moving forward with a dream and Marissa is just sitting still and afraid to move forward. She also deals with AS. I love her and want what is best for her and I know life is harder for her in many ways than it is for Mari. I know she does not want to be like her dad. Want to get another load of laundry done before I go to bed. Going upstairs at 9 and do some reading. I decided to do a study on individual books of the Bible and I am starting with Genesis, which means foundation. It has been a good first day of 2013. Good Night, Trudi


  1. My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend through whatever decisions you decide to make! We come to a point when we need to decide what is best for ourselves!
    This world has changed in many ways over the years. Along with it the need to remain in a marriage that is just not working! We as women have become very resourceful and successful on our own when needed!

  2. Thank you Joyce for your thoughts and prayers and loving comment!