Sunday, April 7, 2013

Expectations and guilt

Good Morning!  It started off sunny, but now we have overcast and foggy!  I am enjoying a quiet, cool morning!

This last week has really affected me, with the two teens being lost in Trabuco Canyon and then being found, thank goodness!  Also the death of my pastor 's son from mental illness and depression.  My husband deals with Asperger Syndrome and OCD and narcissism and, I also wonder if he is bipolar!  Marissa deals with Asperger Syndrome and major anxiety.  I put a lot of expectations on myself and I am hard on myself.  Marissa is easier to deal with than Rory, as Rory is very negative and puts people down, including me.  This is not love.  I love Saturdays, when I can get away and do something I really enjoy.  I have a much better attitude the next day, it also helps my body.  If I don't do something right, I feel guilty and I know I should not.  I love both my girls tremendously and I would do anything for them.  I wish the world would understand mental illness and how hard it is on the people who have it, as well as the people who live with that person.

Today, I will be separating laundry and trying to do at least one load.  I am not going to feel guilty if I don't get one load done.  I am going to get a menu done for the week and marketing done.  If I can get anything else done, I will be happy and not feel guilty.  Today is Sunday and I know there are services, but I really just feel like staying home and not having to be somewhere at a certain time.  I am not going to feel guilty!

One load in the washer, a nap, morning computer stuff done, a menu made, marketing done and now I am going to work on finances and after that I am going to do something fun!  I got done what I wanted to, with finances and presented a budget to Rory, which went well and I was surprised.  He may come back at me later, which is typical.  Made dinner.  Now that I am finished with budget, Marissa and I can start taking a class on pet sitting.  YEA!  Mari and I had dinner together and watched TV, while Marissa watched TV in her room and Rory watched TV in his room.  I got my picture of the day edited and things done.  Overall, a good day!

Going to do reading and go to bed at 10!

Good night!  Trudi

This is the Lawrence building in Santa Ana, CA

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