Friday, April 12, 2013

Surrender and letting go of control

Good Morning!

It is overcast this morning and the birds are singing!  I am very glad it is Friday and I have really nothing to do the next couple of days.  I have a tour this morning and I am meeting someone for lunch after my tour.

I really believe that part of the issue in my marriage is control and I have also been reading several devotionals on surrender.  Early this morning, Rory totally closed the curtains in our bedroom, even though they were already closed.  He would love to have every room dark and I love having the light.  My initial reaction was to put the curtains back to where they were, but I realize that was controlling and being selfish and I should not do that.  I am selfish in many ways.  Lately, I have been talking to God about showing me what it is like to totally surrender to God.  I guess this is one of the ways he was showing me.

After I get home this afternoon, I am going to take a nap and then we will see where the rest of the day goes.

The tour went fine, but I am learning that after a while, the kids get distracted.  They were a good group of kids and asked a lot of questions and really seemed to enjoy the Mission.  Even the adults seemed interested.  I am really learning to be flexible with these tours.  After the tour, I met my friend for lunch, which was nice and I made a wise choice with a salad.  Came home and took a nap and spending the rest of the day at home, which is nice.

It was nice to spend at least part of the afternoon, doing my own thing and not having to go somewhere.  Somehow, I need to get a balance between going and staying home.  I like being busy, but I also like peacefulness!  I crave the peacefulness!  Mari decided to take a nap, so when she was not up by 5:30, I made dinner for all four of us.  The girls and I watched TV.  Rory came downstairs about 7:30, while we were watching "Dead Files".  When he comes downstairs and is watching TV with us, I get tense.  He has a tendency to make silly comments about the program or he wants to listen to the ads, which I find stupid.  I got Rory a camera for his trip and other trips he takes and I need to make the time to show him how to use it.  I get comments about how this is not a good time or that is not a good time and when it is a good time for him, it is not a good time for me.

I am spending till 10 p.m. upstairs doing my own thing, which is nice!

Good night!  Trudi

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